Burn out - what's that?

So much to do brain spinning like copied CD in old CD player. Lot of whirring but nothing happening. Decide to make list while eat breakfast. List too long for piece of paper. Start again. Need to categorise. Make three lists: things to do; phone calls and emails; writing tasks. Write lists in different coloured pens. Feel good all organised. Looks pretty. Start reading last few chapters of cliff-hanger book while drink cup of tea. Finish tea but keep reading. Dog wants walk. Try to ignore paw on leg. Keep reading again. If don’t look at dog, might go away. Try to ignore both front paws on leg. Look at lists. Shouldn’t be reading. Should be doing. Keep reading anyway. Dog walks off. Feel guilty. Take dog for walk with book in hand. Lovely sunny day. Plan to sit on bench in park to read last two chapters. Meet old neighbour. Haven’t seen for long time. Long talk. Think about lists. Torn. Cut walk short and go home? Keep to original plan. Want to read chapters. Keep going. Good exercise for back. Seat in park in delicious sun. Sit and read, dog on lap. (Small dog) Only get through one page when see lady with Kelpie approaching. Usually chat with Kelpie lady, but today try to look interested in book. Backfires. She ask about book. Think about lists. Give her short version. Feel guilty because have used her as source of information for Kelpie in novel am writing. Give her long version. She ask about my writing. Think about lists again. Give her brief update. Think about cliff-hanger book and lovely sun. Wish she would go away. Feel guilty. She start to tell me story of son-in-law and bush fire. Think about lists and book. Close book. Turn to face her. Give her my attention. Listen to story. For second time – she already told another day. Know she deeply affected by his loss. Wonder what loss it touch in her. The Kelpie dying for her to throw the ball. She go one way, I go other. Start reading book while walk. Two streets away meet lady who used to work in bakery. The one who call everyone ‘darl’. She calls out from other side of street, ‘Hi darl.’ Comes over to pat my dog. My dog a people magnet with her attractive face. Think of lists. The darl lady talk about my dog and her cat. She also talk about the cat across the road who loves her cat. Think of book. Think of lists. Tell her about my cat. Finish book while walk home. Look at lists. Feel seasick. Head spinning for two reasons: list-induced apoplexy and reading while walking and keeping eye on dog. Make strong coffee. Gaze at lists. Underline several items. Go to letter box and retrieve mail. Turn over large envelope to see who from. Mentor for novel. Take out manuscript. Read comments. Drink rest of coffee in pot was going to save for afternoon. Look at time. Is afternoon. Add suggestions for manuscript changes to list. Gaze at list again. Make sub-lists. Eat lunch. Pick item on list. Sit at computer. Type. Hit backspace key. Type again. Hit backspace. Type. Backspace. Type swear words. Close document. Hit don’t save. Look at lists. Choose another item. Make phone call. No answer. Leave message. Make another phone call. Person not in today. Leave another message. Eat chocolate. Look at lists. Look through lists. Look right through lists, through paper, through table and down at feet. Sit like this for unknown time. Pick up book of short stories. Choose one for possible analysis for short story class. Start reading. Move to couch. Reread first paragraph. Reread first paragraph. Reread first paragraph. Give in. Sleep. Wake when front door opens. Call out hello to teenager. Be thankful teenager is self-absorbed and not likely to ask about day.