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Showing posts from May, 2010

Not nice

My first-born turns eighteen in less than four months. He’s booked the licence test for 11.00am on his birthday. The beginning of a new era. A great-big-wonderful-start-of-your-adult-life world’s-at-your-feet-ground-breaking-breath-takingly SCARY era. And he’ll want to borrow my car. Lately, I’ve been feeling … vulnerable … is that the word? Or is it fragile ? This year my birthday will nudge me closer to the next decade than the one before it. That’s all I’m saying. I’ve been looking ahead, planning out the next few years, imagining the possibilities, bravely accepting the sobering truth that I will never realise many of the dreams I held close to my heart when I was eighteen. I’ve been looking back, noticing the things I’ve let go. Some by choice, some by necessity, and some with great reluctance and an accompanying sense of grief. Some things have simply fallen away without me even noticing. As Joyce Rupp says in her book Dear Heart Come Home: the path of midlife spirituality